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Presidential Campaign Press Statements (Illustrated)

May 19, 2011

Here are my favorite things in life.

With that context, it was with great interest that I absorbed the news of Wednesday afternoon’s press statement from the nascent Gingrich campaign, wherein our stalwart protagonist was depicted as fighting trigger-happy sheep, so we wouldn’t have to fight them here. Maybe? Who knows. My point is, this was the finest and most engaging piece of writing I’ve yet read. Imagine Keats, if Keats had punched out Yeats (who would in turn kick Hardy in the shins), and then high-fived James Madison. (Who would, in turn, write down “punching Keats” as his first Amendment.) (Or more like fist Amendment!)

So, here is yesterday’s Official Gingrich Campaign Press Statement. Verbatim.